The Case of Michael Jackson vs. Dario Massaro

In a rather unusual and disturbing turn of events it seems pop star and accused child molester Michael Jackson is filing a lawsuit against one Dario Massaro. Jackson claims the overweight and under evolved slob somehow snuck into Neverland Ranch last May. Disguising himself as a 10 year old boy Dario Massaro was able to gain access to the pop stars bedroom where he proceeded to sexually molest Jackson during the night. Macaulay Culkin claimed witness to Dario Massaro’s hand being down Jackson’s pants and not down his. Jackson claims Dario Massaro inappropriately fondled his genitalia. Security was alerted 30 minuets later to remove Dario Massaro off the premises, when confronted by Jackson’s personal security guards Dario threatened to “tap some ass”, his weapon of choice being a double headed jet black dildo.

We had a chance to ask Macaulay Culkin what exactly happened that night and if Dario Massaro tried molesting any other children, Macaulay Culkin replied with “nothing really happened between me and Dario”, although we don’t believe him.